Still awake at 3 a.m.
Let me tell you a secret—I sleep like a log. Yup, I guess I’ve been sleeping alone for the longest time, so when my husband came along, I just wasn’t used to having someone in bed beside me, skin to skin, limb over limb. Sure, I can snuggle, but only when I’m wide awake or, perhaps, half-asleep. When it’s serious sleeping we’re talking about, I’d rather hug my pillow or turn the other way. My husband would always tease me about this. The teasing got stronger now that Zoe co-sleeps with us because Zoe has inherited her father’s knack for snuggling. She sleeps with one leg over her dad’s, an arm over my body, or whatever suits her fancy. Sometimes she would even sleep on top of me! She doesn’t mind if her dad would wrap his heavy leg around her tiny body. It is only me who objects to this act of endearment for fear that my husband, all 160 pounds of him (Hunny, if you’re reading this you better thank me for keeping your old weight even if the scale says otherwise!), would squish her bones in the wrong places. I would let out a holler whenever the two would gang up on me and snuggle me to death. My husband would ask me if I belong to their tribe, treating me like some alien from outer space. Each time this happens I try to come up with some sort of rational explanation even to a point that I would demonstrate how I would want to be snuggled. But my husband would just let out a sarcastic laugh and blatantly tell me that what I want is not snuggling at all. “You don’t know, eh,” he would say humorously and I would feel so left out all over again. Some nights I would give in to the twisting limbs but wake up the following morning complaining of a backache. It’s just not me. Or is it?
My husband is out tonight on a drinking binge with some old friends and I am wide awake at 3 a.m. As much as I hate to admit it, I miss him and his snuggling dearly, even if I know he’ll be home before the sun rises. He doesn’t go out that often and I’ve gotten used to having him around and seeing him before I go to sleep. So on the few occasions that he’s out, I end up staying awake, awaiting his return. I sent him a text message letting him know that I’m still wide awake and that I’m just too used to having him asleep beside me. And he texted back with a smiley, “Now you know.” Yeah, I think I do : )