A friend of mine sent me an e-mail a few months ago about a post on Craigslist. Apparently, it was from a desperately seeking, beautiful 25-year-old girl who wanted to know where the good (read: rich, marryable) men are. She wondered why she hasn’t snagged any worth catching. An investment banker, someone who fits into her category, was gentleman enough to help her out. His reply, if this post is, indeed, true, made me smile silently.
I qualify as a guy who fit your bill—I make more than $500K per year. Here’s how I see it. Your offer is a plain and simple crappy business deal. What you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party, I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will continue into perpetuity—in fact, it is very likely that my income will increase, but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful! So, in economic terms, you are a depreciating asset. In Wall Street terms, we’d call you a trading position—not a buy and hold. It doesn’t make good business sense to ‘buy you’ (which is what you’re asking)—so I’d rather lease. The deal that makes sense for me is dating, not marriage.
When I was still single (forgive me for making a general and biased conclusion), I concluded that men are dumb. I saw how they can go ga-ga over one stunning girl with curves in the right places when they were practically surrounded with awesome female friends with great personalitites, albeit more on the plain-looking side. And although a stunner may, well, be a visual delight, we women have this sixth sense to know that there’s just nothing beneath that pretty surface. So hooray for you, Mr. Investment Banker, for using your head and common sense.
I’ve made a list below for single men out there who can still get blinded by fatal attraction and miss the real deal. I know my husband can come up with a better list, or perhaps an alternative list for single women : )
- What is beautiful is invisible to the eye. Stop looking for eye candy. Sure, it’s important that you find someone from the opposite sex attractive (hubby claims he had a crush on me first, haha), or else it won’t work. But just don’t make it your heaviest criteria. Think how she would look like without any goo on her face, or without her designer outfit. Would you still find her pretty?
- Know what you want. Are you just dating and in need of a “trophy” date? Or are you ready to take the plunge and get serious? if you’re ready for the latter, then choose well. So crazy to get serious with a bombshell who adores having a lot of men worshipping the path she walks. You may not be competing with these men, but you may be competing with something that’s harder to beat, her ego. Yes, some women can have egos as big as men’s (again, no offense).
- Look for the rarer qualities that ladies nowadays seem to forget. Can you actually talk to her about anything else other than make-up, fashion, shopping, shoes, and bags? Does she actually talk about other stuff? Or better yet, can you engage her in conversation that has something to do with your interests for a change, like sports?
- Check out her personality. Think of the kids you dream of having. Would you want her to be the mother of your children? Can she get down and dirty, have fun, not sweat the small stuff? Does she have a sense of humor? Or, can you make her laugh? It’s important that you can make her laugh because when a female gets stressed out, she needs all the laughter medicine she can get to perk up her day.
- Know what she values in life. Does she love her family? Does she appreciate those sweet gestures of you fixing the flat tire or taking a dayoff just to be with her? Is she kind to all, even to the kid who accidentally steps on her newly pedicured feet? Does she like you even without your possessions?
- Know the true and lasting virtues. What virtues would you like for your girl? Patience? Understanding? Kindness? All of the above?
- Does she have a God? Sometimes we underestimate the importance of spirituality. A woman who knows how to pray and acknowledge what blessings come her way, is a woman worth living with.
After all the scrutiny, look at yourself. Once you know what you’re looking for in a woman, look hard at yourself and check if you are what they’re looking for in a man. At the end of the day, it’s you who might be the depreciating asset after all. Peace!
Three years ago, I was one of the moms who got everything planned. I had this toddler school that caught my fancy, well, because the name was catchy and the facade spelled fun. I was willing to spend more than what I can actually afford just to take her to the “best” schools in the area. All these changed when I came across an article of Bo Sanchez that tackles the 10 core principles of homeschooling and how you can send your kid to “the best school in the world,” your own home. Everything he said and wrote about just made perfect sense. I shared the article with hubby and he was very much open to the idea.
Right now, Zoe is 3 years old. While other kids her age are going to toddler school or preschool, I’m still comfortable with having Zoe learn what she wants to learn at her own pace. By now she knows her colors, shapes, and a few of the letters of the alphabet. She can also write her name (ZOE) by herself. She loves engaging in a conversation and her vocabulary is getting wider by the minute. She insists on pouring her own milk to the glass and on taking a bath by herself (although I insist on helping her on this). She also knows how to use the computer mouse when she goes to her favorite learning website, Starfall. She doesn’t have to compete with anyone for my attention. When she gets bored doing one thing, she can do something else. Everything is flexible and, better yet, everything is free. What more, I get to bond with my child as she’s learning. She learns from me, and I learn from her. I discover what she likes, how she likes things, and that, no matter how I insist on the right hand, she will always prefer her left.
Even if we haven’t actually enrolled Zoe to a homeschooling program, I’ve already received “violent” reactions from those around me who mean well. Their main concern is that Zoe might be missing out on something, and “how will she learn to socialize”? I have a vague memory of my preschool years, I could not even remember learning from nursery, but there are clear scenes that I still remember very well. At nursery there was this dollhouse where we all played during breaktime. There was this one kid, who, out of nowhere, slapped me on the face. I was shocked that I didn’t even get to slap her back. I couldn’t remember if I got hurt by the slap but I did remember that I spent the rest of the day at the back, clutching my schoolbag, waiting for the class to end. When I was in Grade 1, studying in one of the finer schools where you expect everyone to be, well, more well-mannered, a boy stuck gum on my hair. I was so scared I though I needed to go bald. Thank goodness for gasoline! My point on this? My daughter does not have to be exposed to a whole bunch of kids—some good, some bullies, some in-betweens—to learn how to socialize. If this is the socializing she will get, then I’ll pass. For now, it’s enough that she knows her manners, can say “please” and “thank you”, and talks to us and our little circle politely. She may be on the shy side for now, but heck, I’ve been a shy girl all my life and I grew up okay, more than okay if I may say.
Of course, Zoe is just a toddler and I am not rushing things for her. For preschool, I will be bringing her to the best school in the world, our own home, the very same place where she learned to crawl, walk, and talk. When she is ready, she can, if she wants to, go to the big schools. Before that day comes, I’m letting her enjoy life, explore every nook and crannies of her little universe, and immerse herself in the unlimited knowledge she can get from the world.
It was refreshing to listen to George Michael’s Praying for Time in American Idol. It’s the type of song that gets more beautiful everytime you listen to it, like it grows on you and breathes its own life.
These are the days of the open hand
They will not be the last
Look around now
These are the days of the beggars and the choosers
This is the year of the hungry man
Whose place is in the past
Hand in hand with ignorance
And legitimate excuses
The rich declare themselves poor
And most of us are not sure
If we have too much
But we’ll take our chances
Because God’s stopped keeping score
I guess somewhere along the way
He must have let us all out to play
Turned his back and all God’s children
Crept out the back door
And it’s hard to love, there’s so much to hate
Hanging on to hope
When there is no hope to speak of
And the wounded skies above say it’s much too late
Well maybe we should all be praying for time
These are the days of the empty hand
Oh you hold on to what you can
And charity is a coat you wear twice a year
This is the year of the guilty man
Your television takes a stand
And you find that what was over there is over here
So you scream from behind your door
Say “what’s mine is mine and not yours”
I may have too much but i’ll take my chances
Because God’s stopped keeping score
And you cling to the things they sold you
Did you cover your eyes when they told you
That he can’t come back
Because he has no children to come back for
It’s hard to love there’s so much to hate
Hanging on to hope when there is no hope to speak of
And the wounded skies above say it’s much too late
So maybe we should all be praying for time
HERE ARE THE RULES:
1. Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.
2. Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their ten things and post these rules.
3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 10 people to get tagged and list their breads.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
Here’s my list of 10:
- I’m pregnant right now to Baby #2. Due date might be late January or early February.
- I love bottled stuff. I’m currently feasting on bottled gourmet dulong. I also love bottled tuyo and Spanish sardines. Yummy! Perfect on a rainy day.
- I love doing nothing. I think I’ve even mastered this, haha. My husband kids me on being batugan. I can spend the whole day just lying around without getting bored. I also am not a morning person. I wake up normally at 10pm, sometimes even later.
- I adore accessories (fancy necklaces and earrings) but I never really feel comfy wearing them. Parang hindi ko carry.
- I gave birth to my daughter Zoe without anesthesia. I hope I can do it again the second time around.
- I’m a licensed PT but never got to practice it. Hubby’s version: Napunta ako sa SPi, na-in-love sa kanya, and the rest, as they say, is history : )
- I love bargains and enjoy going to bazaars. I hardly buy anything in malls, unless it’s on sale and I really want the item.
- I always am tempted to buy yards of fabric when I’m in Divi but up to now they’re still in my closet, waiting to be sewn. We’re talking about fabric 10 years, or even older.
- I have no physical activity at present, save for the 4-5 flights of stairs at work. I don’t have any sports right now, but I used to play volleyball years ago. I’ve never been a sporst buff. Very much the opposite of my mom, as in.
- I own a nail salon, The Li’l Nail Shop, located at Santana Grove Sucat. It’s a small business that’s less than a year old, which i hope will grow in time ; ) It’s a labor of love and lots of hardwork.
We’re pregnant again with Baby #2! We’ve been waiting and praying for months, even years, for this moment, and we’re ecstatic! When my period was delayed for 3 days already, hubby and I decided to check if we were, indeed, pregnant. We didn’t want to get our hopes up because my cycle can be quite erratic. The pregnancy test revealed 2 lines but one of the lines was still a bit faint, so we told ourselves to take one more preg test today, just to confirm. Now it’s official, the two lines are clear enough. I have yet to visit my OB though.
We already told Zoe that she’s going to be an ate. I’m just not sure if she comprehends what that means coz when I told her there’s already a baby inside my tummy, she was dubious because my tummy wasn’t big daw. Kids…And when we asked her if she likes a baby brother or a baby sister, she puts out two of her fingers and says, “I want both.” Oh my.
Right now it’s still too early for morning sickness, although I feel a bit more woozy lately, and I’ve been experiencing some cramping. I’ve also been craving for Chowking’s green mango with Chinese bagoong, hehe. I’ve also been resisting that cup of coffee, buti nalang there’s such a thing called decaf. It’s the taste I’m after anyway. Hope you’d include me in your prayers for a safe and worry-free pregnancy. Expect more pregnancy-related posts in this blog : )
Was tagged by Thea! Thanks Thea, enjoyed answering the Qs!
1. What do you want for your birthday? Couldn’t think of anything tangible. Siguro jewellery.
2. Who will be your next kiss?
Zoe! I love kissing her anytime of the day!
3. When was the last time you went to the mall?
Last Monday, we went to watch Iron Man.
4. Are you wearing socks right now?
Nope. I hardly wear socks.
5. How did you spend your summer? Went to Ilocos, spent time with my mom, brought Zoe to soccer camp, did my usual routine (home-office-shop)
6. Have you been to the cinema in the last 5 days?
Yes! Finally, after ages of not being in one.
7. What was the last thing you had to drink?
8. What are you wearing right now?
9. What was your last purchase?
an ice cream cone from Mini Stop.
10. What was the last food you ate?
11. Who would be the person you would call if you were up in the middle of the night and couldn’t sleep?
I wouldn’t call anyone but if I were to call someone that would have to be my brother in Cali.
12. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
Nope, no need for any. Still have stuff I haven’t worn.
13. Do you have a pet?
Yes, Bailey, our pet chow.
14. What made you laugh in the last 5 days?
Zoe’s innocent remarks.
15. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?
In San Jose, where the rest of my family lives.
16. What is the last thing you purchased online?
I do not purchase online.
17. One thing you hate about yourself? My hair
18. Do you miss anyone?
My parents and siblings.
19. What are your plans for the day?
Work a little, go to the shop, ask hubby if he likes to eat out for dinner.
20. Last person you msg’d?
21. Ever went to a camp?
22. Are you a good student in school?
Yes, I was pretty conscientious.
23. What do you know about the (your) future?
That the future will be according to His plans, whatever it is.
24. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
Right now, no scent.
25. Where is/are your best friend/s right now?
One’s also in Pque, another’s in Texas, one’s also here right now but is based abroad.
Have fun and tag as much blogger friends you have!
The verdict is out. American Idol‘s season finale will be a battle of two Davids: David Archuleta and David Cook. If I had my way, I would want Cook to win. His performance in every song is way, way above the other David (I am so so biased!), and if the contest was all about performance, voice quality, musical artistry, and all that matters, Cook would definitely win hands down. But, AI is also a popularity contest, where you vote for your favorite idol (even if he’s not that deserving, haha), so I’d say David A., who gets the teen and granny vote, has a big chance of snagging first place. I’m still keeping my fingers crossed that David Cook wins. TPS, ipapag-novena ba natin sya? Too bad we can’t vote.
I’ve been tagged by Dyes more than a month ago. Thanks Dyes!
Here are the rules: Remove one (1) question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag eight (8) people in your list. List them out at the end of this post.
1. At what age do/did you want to marry?
::I wanted to get married around 25 or 26, but I got married when I was 28 already.
2. What color do you like most?
:: my choice varies. Right now I like the soft shade of blue
3.When would you like to retire?
I would like to retire as early as possible to busy myself with more important matters such as the home, kids, and business : ) Kung may early retirement offer lang sana…
4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
:: The Old World
5. Which part of you that you hate the most?
:: My hair. So hard to manage!
6. When you encounter a sad moment, what would you do?
:: eat comfort food, pray
7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
:: my family. Can’t imagine life without them
8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
:: give to charity, invest, buy properties, travel
9. What did you love the most last year (2007)?
:: Getting into my first business
10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you:
:: God-fearing, charming, smart
11. How do you cope with boredom?
::when you’re a mom there isn’t any time for boredom!
12. Till now, what is the moment that you regret the most?
:: I regret saying things I don’t really mean. No exact moment
13. Which type of person do you hate the most?
:: people who look down on others and judge too easily
14. What is your ambition?
:: to be a stay-at-home mom. Oo, ito ang ambisyon ko!
15. If you had one wish what would you wish for?
:: world peace! haha!
16. How did you celebrate new year?
:: spent it at home, just the three of us. It was a bonding moment.
17. Name your body part that hubby tells you he adores.
:: not a body part, more of my built/posture I think.
18. It is already 2008, do you have a new year’s resolution?
:: Tired of making resolutions na
19. What do you look forward to in 2008?
:: good health, countless blessings, harmonious relationships
20. What is the best movie you have ever watched so far?
:: Heart & Souls. I never tire of watching it.
I think everyone has been tagged by now, so feel free to snag this : ) Have a nice week everyone!
I don’t usually involve myself in anything political, and I try as much as possible to shun myself from that dirty world, but I can’t help but react to this news bit I read last night.
Apparently, Education Secretary Jesli Lapus urged the Congress to file a bill that would penalize parents who do not send their kids to school. For him, poverty should not be an excuse for depriving children of education. He found an ally in Cagayan de Oro Representative Rufus Rodriguez, who sponsored the bill, which states that violators (the parents) will be fined up to Php100,000 and will be imprisoned for as much as 6 years. Ok, I know it’s a child’s right to be sent to school, but when you’re living in a third-world country such as ours, and when you’re not even earning enough to buy your family food for the day, how could you? How could school be possible when you could not afford your son’s uniform or notebook or even the jeepney fare?
Representatve Rodriguez does not know that, many times, parents simply could not afford to send their children to school. Our public school system isn’t as public as it seems. I spent my high school years in a public school, and despite it being a special one, I saw how difficult it is sometimes for some students to shell out money for projects and schoolworks, and for other extracurricular expenses that are typical of any school, be it public or private. I don’t think any parent, in their right mind, would want to deprive their children of education. Sometimes education is just beyond their reach. It’s hilarious that they want to penalize the parents, send them to jail for 6 years, and fine them Php100,000, when even missing a day of not working would mean their family would not have food on the table, and the fine of Php100,000? That might be more than a year’s earning for a family living below the poverty line. Ridiculous! I suggest that the Education Secretary and Rep. Rodriguez spend even just a week living among the slums, in order for them to understand more the plight of the poor.
I could think of a thousand alternatives to their proposal, and these alternatives wouldn’t even require the parents to be apart from their famly for 6 years. Imagine how traumatic that can be for a family who depends so much on their father’s daily wage at a construction site for their rice and can of sardines? On top of my list would be a bill that requires all the congressmen who “escape” from the sessions to pay a fine of Php100,000. This fine would go straight to the education of 100 or more students for a year. Another bill that would encourage the privileged sector of our community to donate a portion of their earnings to send one deserving child (or even more) to school. Another bill to bring the schools to the homes. I am not yet a full-pledged homeschooler but I believe the poor can definitely benefit from homeschool, what with no baon, no transpo, no uniform to worry about. I can still think of many more bills that our dear congressmen can pass to uplift the education system in our country, and none of them ridiculous. *Sigh*