Still no Internet after Typhoon Frank’s fury, you’d think we live in the mountains! I’ve called Smart’s hotline so many, many times and heard the same “wait for 24 hours” line a gazillion times! I miss blogging and blog-hopping so much. Haay…Plan to say goodbye to SmartBro na.
One evening while telling Zoe for the nth time that she needs to take a bath already and having no luck, I decided to give her the silent treatment. I try as much as possible not to force her to do something she has to do. My charm just didn’t seem to work that day.
Me: Zoe, okay, it’s time to take a bath now. How many times do I have to tell you it’s time to take a bath!
Zoe: Later mom, after I draw.
Zoe: Mom? Blah-blah-blah…
Me: I’m not talking to you (pretending to read a book)
Zoe: Mom, I’m not talking to you either (as she continues drawing, without any trace of resentment or bitterness, clueless of my silent attempt).
One of the many things Zoe and I have in common is our love for my husband, her dad. She adores her daddy so much that she, sometimes unconsciously, imitates my husbands many mannerisms, expressions, and actions. Sometimes to the point that I start complaining that Zoe’s turning so much into a tomboy. She wants to run like her dad, wear shorts like her dad, fly planes like her dad. She’s turning into daddy’s mini-me! I guess she can’t help it because her dad adores her and loves her so much, too. I see how effortless being a dad is for hubby and I can’t help but be grateful and feel blessed that Zoe has such an awesome dad!
To hubby, I don’t usually get to say thank you a lot, but thank you for being a hands-on dad, for knowing that it takes the two of us to mold these precious gifts from God, for offering to take over when I feel I need a break or I’m preoccupied with other stuff, for rough housing Zoe coz you know it’s not my forte, for telling Zoe crazy stories which comes so naturally for you and how Zoe doesn’t find my stories crazy at all no matter how hard I try, for your sense of humor, for taking Zoe on jeepney and fx rides, for playing with her in the toy section of Shopwise while I do some grocery shopping, for being someone she looks up to, for giving her that needed boost of confidence, for buying her that ice cream and those mojos (once in awhile), for letting Zoe take a bath in the rain and assuring me that it’s all right, for talking to Zoe sometimes like a mature adult and for playing with her sometimes like a 3-year-old, for emphasizing the importance of family, and for loving your girls (me included!). Happy Father’s Day!
Eversince I became a mom and had the freedom to make my own choices, I’ve heard all sorts of reactions from well-meaning relatives and friends. Of course, I try to be as polite as possible but, sometimes, what they tell me puts me off big time that I would dream of some not-so-nice rebuttals (pero syempre nagtitimpi pa ako not to say it out loud!).
They: Hindi na uso ang masaktan ngayon, bakit ka pa maglalamaze sa panganganak? (Everything’s pain-free now, why choose to go Lamaze in giving birth?)
Me: Masochista kasi ako. I love pain so much!
They: Why do you keep on carrying your baby? You’re spoiling her!
Me: Actually, I’m spoiling myself. I’m cherishing the moment now coz in a few years I doubt if she’ll ever want to be carried by me.
They: You’re still breastfeeding?! Tama na, hindi na maganda yan. (Note: a few months ago when I still haven’t weaned Zoe. She’s weaned already)
Me: Says who? Di naging sakitin ang anak ko ever. Tipid pa ako sa gatas.
They: Hindi marunong mag-socialize ang anak mo, dapat ipasok mo sa school para makimingle sa ibang bata.
Me: Hindi sya marunong mag-socialize kasi hindi nya kayo feel kausapin? If you spend more time with her, you’d know how good her social skills are. She shares her toys, asks permission, says “please,” “thank you,” and “you’re welcome” and is gentle with younger kids.
They: Homeschool? Bakit homeschool? Pano sya matututo mag-socialize nyan?
Me: Kasi uso yan eh. Mga artista homeschool sila diba? Yan ang pangarap ko kay Zoe, gusto ko sya mag-artista, kaya inuuna ko na ang homeschool. Pag-artista na sya, marami na syang time makipag-sosyalan.
They: She still doesn’t know all her ABCs? When my kids were her age kabisado na nila yan.
Me: Hmmm…knowing how to read early or late. Will it matter when you know how to read by 8 years old?
They: Your daughter’s so shy. You need to do something.
Me: My daughter chooses who she wants to mingle with this early. Sorry, di ka nya type.
They: Importante ang early childhood education sa bata.
Me: Ah ok, sige, pagnag-kaanak ka na ganon ang gawin mo.
and the list can go on and on. Surprisingly, these comments are from those people who you’d expect to know better, given their status, background, and brains. There’s nothing I can do but follow the GIGO rule (Garbage In, Garbage Out). In the end, ako pa rin ang nanay, so I will always have the last say when it comes to how I want to live my life and raise my kids.
I had a craving for Nestle Gold Corn Flakes while our helper was watching Eat Bulaga’s Little Miss Urduja contest and what this little girl contestant said struck me, “Mga bata, mag-aral tayo mabuti para makakuha tayo ng mataas na grades (Kids, let’s study well so we’ll get high grades).” Of course, the kid wouldn’t know any better and, of course, that statement must have been taught to her by her parents/guardian. I felt sad, disappointed, and frustrated. Is this how the world works? Are grades the be all and end all?
I grew up a conscientious student. I wasn’t raking medals left and right but I was, what the school can rate as above average. When I was in grade school, although I did get high grades, I didn’t pay much attention to it. I did what I had to do and my parents didn’t push me or pressure me to excel. In high school, the environment was much different. Although it was a public school, my high school gave emphasis to math and science, well, because it was actually a science high school. My classmates were bright, smart kids and the teachers were great, too. Sadly, I felt there was too much emphasis on the grades. Those who got high grades were placed in the “smart” sections. The other kids, albeit smart (perhaps even smarter), who did not very much qualify, occupied the remaining sections. I got the chance to belong to a “smart” section one schoolyear and I hated it. I felt how some of my classmates were pressured to study, and it wasn’t very much to learn but just to pass and get high grades. And they spent every moment studying. I also got a chance to be in an average class and I had one of the best times in my life. The atmosphere was more relaxed and, as much as the students preferred sometimes to have fun than to study, they were bright and they delivered when they had to. Come to think of it, these were the kids who were more well-rounded. They had life outside school. School was not their only life.
In college, there was more pressure than ever. Out of 6,000 or so applicants, only 100+ of us made it. The professors told us we were the creme de la creme (I feel this is an exaggeration). Most of my classmates were valedictorians/salutatorians of their respective schools and the subjects were indeed hard. I still had classmates who were grade-conscious. Too grade-conscious that they would always ask how you fared in your exams and what scores you got. If you got a higher score, they’d feel so sad about their scores. If you got a lower score, they’d be sympathetic. If there’s one thing I learned back in college, it’s to never ever compare yourself to others. You’ll always feel you’re missing something. Best to compete with yourself if it’s competition you’re after.
It’s been more than 10 years since I’ve been in school. I look back and realize that
our world has placed so much attention to grades that we’ve lost what’s truly important. The question is, are we really learning? At 32, the grades I had back then do not matter anymore. It’s what I’ve learned through the years that made me achieve what I had to achieve. It’s also what I’ve learned outside the four corners of the classroom that still ring true up to this day. How many of our country’s top earners were even school dropouts? Getting high grades does not guarantee being successful in life. There’s more to school than just grades. The same way that there’s more to life than just school.
Now that I’m a mom, I promise to teach my kids the things that matter. Not so much as put stress on grades and high scores but to show them the way. Give them backbones. Learning must be fun, or they wouldn’t learn at all. When they’re learning, truly learning, everything else will follow.
(Also posted in my other blog)
After much deliberation, hubby and I decided to try and check another OB. Don’t get me wrong, I love my old OB and I would still highly recommend her. In fact, thanks to her, I was able to give birth to Zoe without anesthesia. Almost had to undergo a C-section. My old OB holds clinic in Medical Plaza Makati, where she accepts my HMO card for consultations, but because of the continuous rise in gas prices and the parking and toll fees, it’s just not worth it to travel all the way to Makati for the consultations. She also holds clinic once a week in Asian Hospital but I’ll have to pay Php500 per consultation.
Thanks to a mommy friend, she recommended her OB in Asian. The good news is she accepts my HMO card in Asian and the better news is she’s also a Lamaze advocate, which means she won’t cut me up for the smallest of reasons. I criterion that’s important to me and hubby especially when I’ve noticed the rise in CS births. She gave birth to her two kids also through Lamaze so I know I’m in good hands. So now we get to save on gas, travel time, parking, and toll. It’s really quite expensive to give birth these days so it’s best to save as much as you can on things that you can save on.
Zoe was with us during the visit and she was at her best behavior. She loves Asian Hospital and is so at home there. I’m amazed at her memory because she remembers quite clearly that donuts are being sold downstairs. I’m also not anxious and worried when I take Zoe with me to Asian. It doesn’t have that eerie hospital feel other hospitals have.
Zoe and I dropped by the nail shop this afternoon to check on the shop and get Zoe a pedicure and a manicure. The little girl doesn’t want me to touch her nails! She has this new habit of playing with her nails and making her nails click, and it’s making me crazy. Her fingernails have some chips here and there. At first she didn’t want one of the staff to clean her nails, but when I sat down with her, ok na sya. She also got to choose her own polish–a flaming red lacquer! Now her digits look better and she loves her nail color. I don’t usually allow her to put on nail polish but if the nail polish will somehow break her habit of tinkering with her nails, so be it. I also came to the conclusion that my little girl is kikay after all, despite her fascination and love for sports, robots, firetrucks, and General Shang (of Mulan). Oh, and she agrees to wear skirts and dresses, too, but it still takes a lot more convincing. It helps when I’m also in a girley outfit, but when she’s with her dad daw, she’ll wear shorts. Oh well…
Because I want to keep this blog as varied as can be, I decided to create a new blog where I can post about anything pregnancy-related and keep everyone updated on Baby #2. I’m still groping and finding my way, so please bear with me. Hope you’ll also link me up and let me know if you do so I can add it to my links too. Come to think of it, I haven’t done that yet. The blog will be for a whole 9 months. I’m just wondering what I’ll do with it when I’m done being pregnant, haha.
I might still be tempted to post some preggy stuff here because, what can I say, I feel so at-home with wordpress and, perhaps, it might be the only stuff worth posting. Hay, I’m babbling already. Sometimes, my mind just isn’t thinking straight and I’m in no mood to be creative. I’m craving for something though, salivating actually for that santol in the kitchen. Gotta have it now! Ta-da!