Me the Nonconformist

Eversince I became a mom and had the freedom to make my own choices, I’ve heard all sorts of reactions from well-meaning relatives and friends. Of course, I try to be as polite as possible but, sometimes, what they tell me puts me off big time that I would dream of some not-so-nice rebuttals (pero syempre nagtitimpi pa ako not to say it out loud!).

They: Hindi na uso ang masaktan ngayon, bakit ka pa maglalamaze sa panganganak? (Everything’s pain-free now, why choose to go Lamaze in giving birth?)

Me: Masochista kasi ako. I love pain so much!

They: Why do you keep on carrying your baby? You’re spoiling her!

Me: Actually, I’m spoiling myself. I’m cherishing the moment now coz in a few years I doubt if she’ll ever want to be carried by me.

They: You’re still breastfeeding?! Tama na, hindi na maganda yan. (Note: a few months ago when I still haven’t weaned Zoe. She’s weaned already)

Me: Says who? Di naging sakitin ang anak ko ever. Tipid pa ako sa gatas.

They: Hindi marunong mag-socialize ang anak mo, dapat ipasok mo sa school para makimingle sa ibang bata.

Me: Hindi sya marunong mag-socialize kasi hindi nya kayo feel kausapin? If you spend more time with her, you’d know how good her social skills are. She shares her toys, asks permission, says “please,” “thank you,” and “you’re welcome” and is gentle with younger kids.

They: Homeschool? Bakit homeschool? Pano sya matututo mag-socialize nyan?

Me: Kasi uso yan eh. Mga artista homeschool sila diba? Yan ang pangarap ko kay Zoe, gusto ko sya mag-artista, kaya inuuna ko na ang homeschool. Pag-artista na sya, marami na syang time makipag-sosyalan.

Hmmm…what else…

They: She still doesn’t know all her ABCs? When my kids were her age kabisado na nila yan.

Me: Hmmm…knowing how to read early or late. Will it matter when you know how to read by 8 years old?

They: Your daughter’s so shy. You need to do something.

Me: My daughter chooses who she wants to mingle with this early. Sorry, di ka nya type.

They: Importante ang early childhood education sa bata.

Me: Ah ok, sige, pagnag-kaanak ka na ganon ang gawin mo. 

and the list can go on and on. Surprisingly, these comments are from those people who you’d expect to know better, given their status, background, and brains. There’s nothing I can do but follow the GIGO rule (Garbage In, Garbage Out). In the end, ako pa rin ang nanay, so I will always have the last say when it comes to how I want to live my life and raise my kids.

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June 9, 2008. Tags: . Lists, Mommyhood.

10 Comments

  1. Chell replied:

    Filipinos are so nosy to the point of being tactless. I was a shy kid myself (I am still, hehe) and I’ll be the first to raise hell if anyone ever claims it’s a quality one should use as a judgement for a person’s being.
    Let Zoe be the person she wants to be. and let her mother be the judge of what’s good (or not good) for HER OWN child!
    Some people think they know everything.
    What else can I say, I guess I’m a non-conformist too 🙂 — if only to be different and irritate others more, heheh.

  2. pat replied:

    argh! i can’t believe people can really be so tactless. they should also learn to mind their own business. but well, kanya kanyang opinions yan. let them be… at least you’re not affected. : )

  3. Tricia Faustino replied:

    Thanks Chell for your encouraging words. Very comforting to know some people who understand where I’m coming from.

    Hi Pat! Yes, tactless is the word. I try not to be affected, really, but sometimes they just get to me. I feel they’re indirectly letting me know that I don’t know how to raise my own child.

  4. jencc replied:

    you go, girl!!!

  5. ka2x replied:

    taray! but i like that. very strong in your decisions and your beliefs. people can be very tactless talaga, kaya dapat binabara din minsan 😉

    btw, you have a new blog ryt. i like it very much but im clueless as to how im gonna post a comment. i dont have a blogger acccount 🙂

  6. k.g. replied:

    I guess almost all parents (especially us moms) have been victims of these “well-meaning” people. I just hope that they understand that each kid is unique. Children have different characteristics, different abilities, and different growth patterns. And, may I stress that being shy is not, I repeat, not a negative trait. It just means that the kid is more careful on whom he/she interacts with.
    I remember one “manang” before who kept on saying, “You should be doing this…or that” with regard to how I should be raising Wendy. I wanted to say, “With all due respect po…please shut up. This is my kid! I will raise her the way I know is best.” And with pride (and pwede na rin with all humility), I can honestly say that [I think], I’m doing a good job [doing it my way]…he! he! 🙂 (Walang konontra!)

  7. Joey replied:

    My guess is that people will always have some sort of comment regarding your choices as a mom. In the end, it’s not their child, it’s yours, so ikaw ang masusunod. Pagdating sa mga anak nila, di mo rin naman sila pinapakialaman, diba? To each his own.

    OT: PPBC 3 call for articles is up. Details here: http://the-working-mom.blogspot.com/2008/06/generations-3rd-pinoy-parenting-blog.html

  8. Rhea replied:

    Hi Tricia!

    Naks, ang taray mo na ngayon ah. Hehe! Don’t mind them na lang. I admire you nga for being such a supermom to Zoe. Okay lang naman na shy siya. I was painfully shy too but I think I turned out okay. Hehe!

    Miss you girl!

  9. Rhea replied:

    Forgot to say, I’ve got a tag for you pala. =)

  10. Apols replied:

    Hi tricia!how’s second baby doing inside your tummy hehehe
    I hope youre doing fine…
    hay some people talaga sabagay ganyan din ako I dont mind their comments saka hindi nag rergister sakin mga pinagsasabi nila kasi I dont care about what theyre saying! Heheeheh!

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