I didn’t see it coming. There was nothing at all unusual that Sunday except for the fact that we (hubby, me, and the kids) decided, after months of camping in the pink room (yes, the rooms are named according to wall color), that we will be going back to the yellow room. I was OK with the idea. The only thing I didn’t like about the yellow room was the aircon. It was too cold for comfort. No one in the family agrees with me on this though. I’m the only one covered in sheets while the rest of the gang would even kick their blankets away. Every night we’d take a vote on “who wants aircon?” and every night I’d be outvoted 1:3. Yes, even Phoenix knows how to ask for aircon.
Anyway, that night, I had a hard time getting my sleep. The temp was making me uncomfortable and I was hugging my blanket so tight. I adjusted the thermostat of the AC twice already to no avail. I was still shivering so hard that I had to wake hubby up. Hugging hubby helped a lot and I thought that was enough for the chills to go away. It made my heart tingly warm though, hehe. Hubby even prepared a bowl of hot noodles for me yet I still felt terrible. I soaked my feet in warm water, which made me stop shivering a little but something was still amiss. That’s when hubby decided to take my temp. It was 39 deg C already! After taking paracetamol, I felt so much better and was able to sleep through the night.
The next morning, we decided to go to the doctor. Hubby suspected I might have an infection and it might be due to the cough that didn’t seem to go away for more than a month now. His suspicions were confirmed. I was diagnosed with pneumonia and had to be confined right away. The first question that came out of my mouth was, “can I still breastfeed?” The doctor was firm in saying no I could not. He even added that I needed to be isolated from the kids, or anybody else for that matter, because pneumonia can be contagious. My heart sank like lead. Being in a cold lonely room for five days without my kids with me was like being tied in chains! To make matters worse, our helper was scheduled to fly home to the province for her birthday and hubby was all set to do ground lessons that week. I couldn’t help but think of the kids, especially Phoenix, who is so used to having me around. I am his milk machine and I dreaded the days AND nights when he would ask for milk and I wouldn’t be around to feed him.
I spent those 5 days and nights catching up on TV, watching shows I’ve never even seen before. There would be times when I would miss the kids so badly but I would shrug off those sad thoughts, believing they wouldn’t do me any good anyway.
The days seemed long, the nights seemed longer. The kids had to make do without me around. I was coping. Hubby was coping. The kids were coping. It was doubly hard for hubby because he was at the battlefield (of looking after the kids) while I was in the hospital facing a different battle of my own.
Thankfully, the days did roll by and I was discharged for home. It felt so good being with my family again. Throughout the week, there were lessons learned:
- No matter how much I’d like to believe I’m super, I’m not. Mommies are human beings to. We get a scrape, catch a cold, get sick. We need to take good care of our health for our sake and our family’s.
- If a cough is overstaying, better troop to your doctor’s clinic. I had my cough since the last week of December. It was February when I found out I had pneumonia. I kept prolonging my visit to the doctor thinking the next round of self-medications would get rid of the cough.
- I cannot do everything. Stressed…that’s what I am. No need for that unnecessary stress. Stress was a big factor why my body broke down.
- Never underestimate a person’s coping mechanism. Everyone coped and adjusted quite well to the situation, even my 1-year-old. Zoe was a trooper. She somehow knew the situation and helped by being there for Phoenix.
- There are angels in disguise. I chose to count my blessings despite what happened.
- Love the hospital food. Hating it won’t do you any good anyway.
Looking back, those five days spent in the hospital allowed me to recharge and re-energize myself. It gave me some “me” time, never mind if I was on IV and was wearing a lousy hospital gown. Yes, I’ve been to hell and back! ; )
Yes, this might be my only chance! The kids are finally asleep and, thanks to my afternoon nap, I am still wide awake past midnight. Good for me. Finally, some “me” time. I did promise I’d be back, right?
While they are asleep, I was able to have a few minutes of TV and watch the latest news. P-Noy is so much in the news lately. I wasn’t able to watch the inauguration live last June 30 that when I caught excerpts of it, I couldn’t help but get a little teary-eyed. Yeah, there’s no harm in us pinoys wishfully thinking and hoping for the best. New beginnings, fresh start for everyone.
While they are asleep, I got to munch on Trader Joe’s dark chocolate-covered pretzels. Yummy! Sweet, salty, bittersweet, sweet, salty, bittersweet was my mantra! Had to stop myself from finishing the whole bag!
While they are sleeping, I am staring at the computer screen, trying to sort out my thoughts. It IS hard to backtrack more than six months of happenings now that I’m back to blogging again. But then again, I cannot just start blogging without backtracking. And so I’m stuck here in the middle of nowhere, not knowing where or how to start. It doesn’t help that my mind is waiting for Phoenix to holler “MOM” any second now. I am pretty sure any mom would know how I feel. It’s waiting for the expected. Something that’s bound to happen, like always.
My little time to spend on me and my thoughts are still wandering to where my kids are. Oh well, better luck next time. Hopefully, my ramblings will make more sense.