New Year, New Love, New Life

The talk on The Feast two Sundays ago dealt again on relationships. Bro. Bo Sanchez talked about the power of compounding and how compounding can make or break our lives. Compounding, in finance, is how one small amount can double again and again through time. To elaborate, he talked about a love account, similar to our bank accounts, but instead of making money talk, we’re either making deposits or withdrawals on our relationships every day. Some accounts can go on starting with a whopping amount but remaining dormant for years, while others may make one big withdrawal to the point of closing the account. Yet, the worst account of all is the one that keeps the account going and makes tiny, minute withdrawals every single day. These withdrawals can be in the form of hurtful words, mistrust, indifference, infidelity, and so on and so forth. Ouch, right?

As a parent, it hit me hard. How many times did I make withdrawals from my love account for my kids? Oh yeah, the time I scolded my kid for spilling his drink for the nth time. And the other time I pushed my daughter to rush when it was not in her nature to be rushed. And what about that time my son wanted to play with me but I was busy on Facebook? GUILTY!

As a wife, it hit me harder. Have I been making enough deposits to my spouse’s love account? When WAS the last time I cooked him a meal? As in really cook him a meal not because I was obligated? When did I last massage his feet or give him a back rub? When did I last drop everything and snuggle up to him? Worse, there’s the list of withdrawals I made. The time I complained about this, nagged about that, expected him to do one thing and yet ignored the many other things he has already been doing for me…the list can go on and on. I felt so small at the moment I just wanted to crawl under my seat and cry at how selfish and ungrateful I had been.

I also did the worst thing unimaginable. I tried to list everything my husband deposited to the love account. I felt so ashamed! He has been filling it up, day in and day out, making deposits to my account and to the kids’ account.  Nothing grand, I must say, but constant, consistent, and compounding (e.g., a trip to the playground, bringing home fruits and buko juice, helping with the chores, saying yes once in awhile to the kids’ whims, saying yes to my crazy wants). Thank God my guilt and shamefulness turned to gratitude and hope. Gratitude for all the “deposits” made and hope for more deposits and lesser withdrawals from now on.

My daughter Zoe, who attended Awesome Kids, The Feast’s kids’ ministry, also brought home a “Love Account” passbook. The kids were told to keep a list of every good deed they made and to write them down under the “deposit” column. They were to list down every not-so-good thing on the “withdrawal” column. I guess the love account also did my daughter good because everyday I would see her listing down her deposits, and making more effort to write down a deposit. So far these are what are in her deposit: greeted family and friends, talked politely, packed away gift wrappers, played with little cousins, helped little brother, prepared water bottle (a chore I entrusted to her every time we went out), folded underwear, helped unpack groceries,  ate my veggies, drank buko juice (something she’s really not fond of), kept self busy, helped make breakfast, set table. I’m loving how she’s been more helpful around the house and more cooperative lately, probably because of the love account. She’s also made a few “withdrawals” yet her deposits far outnumber her withdrawals. I am praying this will be a continuous thing, or she will have the habit of counting blessings and being more of a blessing to others.

So this 2014, I’ve resolved to fill my love account to overflowing. To make deposits every day. To make the power of compounding work positively in my life and for it to have a ripple effect on my husband, my kids, and all those around me. I know, with God’s grace, this is possible. 🙂